JoinDispatch

...guys.

Yep, it's still in the beta review process by apple, but should be approved today!  As soon as it's complete you'll get an e-mail from apple about setting up the app as beta through Apple's TestFlight. Let me know if you have any issues or questions!

Thanks!

-Kyle

Got the email about half an hour ago!!! LEZDOTHISSS

You get Martial Arts skill from the very first “simulation” call.  You instruct the caller to get in the closet and stay there.  You keep telling them to stay over and over in a loop that feels like it will never end.  Eventually the caller will have a transcendental moment in which they and yourself gain Martial Arts skills and they go fight the bear.

Let’s see if that works...

Edit: Can confirm, 11 times of saying “a little longer” and now i am a kung fu master

Maybe you’re thinking of the VERY fine print you get when you join the email list...

RECRUITING
NEW HIRE THANKS
Job Accepted: Yes

Welcome and thank you for signing up to be an operator with Dispatch! As we all know Dispatch is a great way to get involved, help your community, and support your family. Please keep in mind you are dealing with real people, your neighbors, brothers, sisters, teachers, parents, mailmen, butchers, bakers, candlestick makers, shakers, quakers, politicians, police, nurses, doctors, children, teens, tweens, …… We hope you will use your time as a Dispatch Operator to learn some new on the job skills such as First Aid, Morse Code, Wildlife Safety, Hackiiiiiiinnnnggggg%^^&^%$*((((*****%$#@@@$%, Communication, and many other skills along the way. Dispatch is here to help! We have a number of Dispatch managers ready to assist you with anything you may need. They are just a dial or click away so don’t hesitate to reach out for any reason. Dispatch Managers are also always monitoring your Dispatch station, that’s right! No need for time consuming check ins or performance reviews because we are alwayyyy555577362358 watching. This system is put in place to PROTECT you from potential legal action and generally disturbing circumstances. By placing the Dispatch system in your home you agree to broad spectrum surveillance. By placing the Dispatch system in your home you agree to the terms and conditions of service. Dispatch system MUST remain intact in it’s original form. Any tampering, Hackiiiiiiinnnnggggg%^^&^%$*((((*****%$#@@@$%, or general mess about will be punished with removal of system and persecution to the full extent of the law. If Dispatch Managers SUSPECT any tampering or mess about they are within their rights to order a search of your home. All Dispatch Manager initiated searches REQUIRE that you comply with orders. By placing the Dispatch system in your home AND/OR using the Dispatch application on any approved mobile decvice you agree to random and mandatory Manager searches. No warrant shall be required for these searches. If you suspect abuse of the Dispatch system and fail to report it you will be considered accessory to abuse and full legal recourse will be taken. If your Dispatch system malfunctions please contact a Dispatch Manager IMMEDIATELY. Failure to report issues with your Dispatch System unit can result is legal action or physical recourse. If your Dispatch System is beeping, blinking, switching, skipping, sparking, buzzing, clicking, smoking, tittering, caterwauling, moaning or otherwise performing acts not outlined in the user manual you are required to report it to a Dispatch Manager. Failure to do so may result in legal or physical recourse. Only use with Dispatch sanctioned headphones. Failure to do so could corrupt the system and otherwise void procedure. Doing so may result in legal or physical recourse. REPORT HACKING TO A DISPATCH MANAGER! Hacking undermines the very structure of the Dispatch system and network. If you see something, say something. You wouldn’t hack a car would you? So why is a Dispatch system any different. 8798266678**^%$^$$^&*()!@#$%^&*& Should you find need to contact sales representative You must follow any policies made available to you within the Services. Don’t misuse Dispatch. For example, don’t interfere with our Services or try to access them using a method other than the interface and the instructions that we provide. You may use Dispatch only as permitted by law, including applicable export and re-export control laws and regulations. We may suspend or stop providing our Services to you if you do not comply with our terms or policies or if we are investigating suspected misconduct. Using Dispatch does not give you ownership of any intellectual property rights in our Services or the content you access. You may not use content from our Services unless you obtain permission from its owner or are otherwise permitted by law. These terms do not grant you the right to use any branding or logos used in our Services. Don’t remove, obscure, or alter any legal notices displayed in or along with the Dispatch system. In connection with your use of Dispatch, we may send you service announcements, administrative messages, and other information. You may not opt out of some of those communications. Some of our Services are available on mobile devices. Do not use such Services in a way that distracts you and prevents you from obeying traffic or safety laws. All permissions are irrevocable. Should you wish the Dispatch system removed from your home an authorized service provider shall make arrangements to remove. Any attempt to remove the Dispatch system on your own will be met with legal consequences. After a unit is removed from a home all data on said unit shall belong to Dispatch corp. All Data will remain property of Dispatch in perpetuity.

i’m signed up for the email list AND read the very fine print so uhhhh     

771-07 Strange Mist in the Air

- called fire department
- responded "It COULD be combustable."

Should be combustible.

- caller replies "Ok that's could be so."

Should be "that", not "that's"

Caller: If anything else happens I'll call back but until then I am staying put!
- one of the two choices is "I think you imagining things, you'll be fine."

should be "you're"

---

015-15 Intruder

Accept > Can you see the intruder? > We? > Book Club! > I think the intruder is your neighbor. > Yes, I just spoke to him. > I'm struggling to comprehend

Caller: He's has always been crazy, lately he's just all out of sorts.

- should be "He has" or just "He's"

---

443-04 paramedics need assist

443 Out. > Radio speak?! > What's the trouble? > Jeremy? > What are you seeing?

Caller: Of course we've seen that!

Doesn't make complete sense in context really:

Caller: I mean - the fire poker is gnarly... but...
Me: Jeremy? Salton Lane? Fire poker?
Caller: Yea that's him! Good call on the ambulance, he's in a bad way.
Me: What are you seeing?
Caller: Of course we've seen that!

like I think it's supposed to be a response to "the fire poker?"

---

(Will update with more, I know there are other things but wanna make sure I get specifics right)

Hit this as well, took a videograb of it (dunno how much that'd help)